Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he quoted the bible to break up with me
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
