her vagine was all disorganized.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
