Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
