hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
