If i come over, it means nothing
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Ketchup is God's man juice
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
