Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
