the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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