Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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