I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
