even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
