i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
