I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
