what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
