doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
