So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
