I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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