i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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