He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
