why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
