I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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