Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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