God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
