I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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