they need to just BURY HIM!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
