Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
