I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
