when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
