you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
