after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
