We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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