He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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