There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
