I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
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