I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
