I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
3 2 1 whiskey
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
