Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
