My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
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