when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
