So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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