so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
