"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
that is very illegal...i love you.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
