The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
