You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
