i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
