I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
