the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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