It's Friday. Sex?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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