i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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