I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
