We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
